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Let us thus pay attention to a movie that teach ADULTS a fantastically inaccurate version of what life was like 25,000 years ago.įans of Jean M. This week: Ice Age: Continental Drift is the fourth entry in the inexplicably durable franchise that teaches our children a fantastically inaccurate version of what happened in the last glacial period. So there you have it-the reasons you haven`t seen two of the most hyped movies of the winter season and some reasons why you might not want to see them even if they arrive.Every Sunday this summer, we'll be taking an historical tour of the Hollywood blockbuster by examining an older film that is in some way a spiritual precursor to one of the weekend's wide releases. Too bad her character is 35,000 years too early to be interviewed on Phil Donahue`s show.
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What`s left is a string of mostly laughable sequences in which various tools are invented, while Hannah learns how to be a hunter and become the first liberated woman in human history. One would imagine that youngsters would be a primary audience for the film, but because of a brutal rape scene and a horrific bear-killing sequence, the film deservedly has an ''R'' rating. What is odd about the film, considering the novel`s reputation as a spiritual piece, is how often the movie takes the low road in terms of entertainment. Although once she sees this ''Cave Bear,'' Hannah may have preferred to let Chapman`s daughter take the rap. The reason: The little blond girl was director Michael Chapman`s daughter.Īs it now plays, Hannah`s appearance is early, but still strangely late for the lead of a movie. In the original version, according to a studio source, a young version of Hannah`s character was featured throughout much of the movie, and Hannah made a rather late appearance. ''Blade Runner,'' in which her athletic abilities obscure her acting abilities). It`s the potentially fascinating story, set 35,000 years ago, of the transition from neanderthal to the more advanced cro-magnon man, or, more specifically, to cro-magnon woman (Daryl Hannah in yet another role, as in for all of the snafus associated with its production and sound editing. ''Clan of the Cave Bear'': This film is almost legendary at Warner Bros.
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His accent is strictly Frank Serpico, his face is straight from the last scene of ''The Godfather II'' and his relationship with Nastassja Kinski, which could have been the only thing to save the movie, is nothing more than a series of at least seven preposterous chance encounters in which, sorry fans, both keep their clothes on.Īll that we learn from the movie is that young boys were conscripted to fight, and that many of those who did fight did not receive their promised wages after the victory was won. ''Revolution'': Al Pacino is downright laughable as a reluctant frontiersman-turned-fighter for the American cause.
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So what are you missing? Well, in case the films wind up only on airplanes, cable TV or video cassettes, here are two brief looks at the movies: What to learn from all of this? That there are bad films, and then there are really bad films.Īnd nobody wants, as the saying goes in show business and elsewhere, to throw good money after bad, especially very bad. This assessment is based on the failed bookings in December and January in New York and Los Angeles and the film`s not-surprising failure to receive any Academy Award nominations.
''The advertising costs alone would eat up what the box office might produce,'' the executive said. ''The Color Purple,'' another Warner film, is holding up so well at the box office that no theater wants to give it up for ''Cave Bear.'' As a result, the scrambling for available theaters has taken time.Īs for ''Revolution,'' right now there are no plans, according to a highly placed Warner source, to distribute it at any time in any theater in any city.
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